This question has been going around so I thought I would post.
Question is: If you saw ME in a police car what would you think I got arrested for?
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Wow, its been a long time
Well I guess that is the genius of rss feeds. Anyway I wanted to post a link to a blog post. Your first job may not have been at Chuck E. Cheese but I am sure you have some stories.
http://melbotis.blogspot.com/2009/04/me-and-chuck-e-cheese.html
I must say that I can't imagine the mental anguish working at Chuck E. Cheese was cause.
http://melbotis.blogspot.com/2009/04/me-and-chuck-e-cheese.html
I must say that I can't imagine the mental anguish working at Chuck E. Cheese was cause.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Do you have a potty mouth????
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
This Weekend:Lakefront Brewery Tour
I am excited for Friday's brewery tour. Its been a while since I've been and I want to try the cherry beer that they have. Hopefully they will have it at the bar.
I don't know what's in store for the rest of the weekend. Maybe catching up on the tivo. It will be busy tonight.
Anybody have any fun time plans for the weekend?
I don't know what's in store for the rest of the weekend. Maybe catching up on the tivo. It will be busy tonight.
Anybody have any fun time plans for the weekend?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
ugh
I know that I am a little nutty so I thing I have the right to judge other crazies. I have deemed someone to be batshit crazy and to hear them talk incessantly for thirty minutes to an hour will drive me out of my mind.
Friday, September 12, 2008
If we're friends (and you don't work at UWM (in some cases))...
you can send me a text message that says "do you want to go to a fish fry on friday 4 my work fundraiser?"
and I will say yes (if I am not already booked) because that's what friends do.
ok I like fish.
Plus I am a sucker for raising money for good organizations and friends that need help.
If we're friends (without any stipulations of where you work)...
you could text me and say "do you want to go to Chuck E. Cheese so we can make fun of kids and their parents while eating pizza and drinking beer" I'd say yes because that sounds like a fun time.
There are tons of text messages you could send me and I would say yes to, except for maybe going to a dairy eating contest (and I'd think long and hard about this especially if it was and ice cream and cheese eating contest (i'm lactose intolerant - and I think I would go but not participate) before saying I don't know.
If we're not friends, I'd tell you to suck it and never text me again. (ok that wouldn't happen - I'd probably say no (and then when you asked why I'd say 'because I don't want to, get off my back').
I also think that I may be losing my mind.
and I will say yes (if I am not already booked) because that's what friends do.
ok I like fish.
Plus I am a sucker for raising money for good organizations and friends that need help.
If we're friends (without any stipulations of where you work)...
you could text me and say "do you want to go to Chuck E. Cheese so we can make fun of kids and their parents while eating pizza and drinking beer" I'd say yes because that sounds like a fun time.
There are tons of text messages you could send me and I would say yes to, except for maybe going to a dairy eating contest (and I'd think long and hard about this especially if it was and ice cream and cheese eating contest (i'm lactose intolerant - and I think I would go but not participate) before saying I don't know.
If we're not friends, I'd tell you to suck it and never text me again. (ok that wouldn't happen - I'd probably say no (and then when you asked why I'd say 'because I don't want to, get off my back').
I also think that I may be losing my mind.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
It's been awhile
Well on August 21st I had my 21st plus 7 birthday. I had an awesome time last week. Tuesday, was Harry's night. Co-workers sang happy birthday it was kind of weird but I will say it was the thought that counts right. I guess you have to except that thoughtful weird, I am glad it wasn't a shoulder rub or a fake punch in the stomach. Well at Harry's we tried the new Rehorst Citrus and honey vodka (with seltzer and a splash of sprite - what they call a vodka press).
Wednesday was Porchclub. I got a very lovely cake.
Hung out with friends. Some drunker than they probably needed to be on a Wednesday night. I must say that it was very very amusing. I haven't been to Porchclub in a while so it was good to go again.
Thursday was the big day. I decided that I wanted to do something adult. I invited a bunch of people to Water Buffalo but before we get to the festivities. At work I was gifted another lovely cake.
Way to amusing. Work was fun. Another co-worker realized that the sprinkles on the cake matched my earrings. Then she got sprinkles from the cake and brought them to me. Somewhat bizarre but also funny.
Now to Water Buffalo. I really like the place. Oh we had this awesome appetizer, baked Italian cheese. Delicious!!! We should move on to the gift portion of the night.
Kathy got me Coach sandals (white).
Anna got me a new bag (shimmery brown).
Kim got me a Brewer's t-shirt.
Jenni got me two v-neck elbow length sleeve (red and white).
Beth and Jim got me a Snoopy sno cone maker.
It was a very fun time.
Friday was the Brewer's game. They won. Then Saturday we went to the lovely city of Kiel for the Zorn's 50th birthday party. I got a mosquito bite on my lip that was fun. Well I got about 10 other mosquito bites.
Wednesday was Porchclub. I got a very lovely cake.
Hung out with friends. Some drunker than they probably needed to be on a Wednesday night. I must say that it was very very amusing. I haven't been to Porchclub in a while so it was good to go again.Thursday was the big day. I decided that I wanted to do something adult. I invited a bunch of people to Water Buffalo but before we get to the festivities. At work I was gifted another lovely cake.
Way to amusing. Work was fun. Another co-worker realized that the sprinkles on the cake matched my earrings. Then she got sprinkles from the cake and brought them to me. Somewhat bizarre but also funny. Now to Water Buffalo. I really like the place. Oh we had this awesome appetizer, baked Italian cheese. Delicious!!! We should move on to the gift portion of the night.
Kathy got me Coach sandals (white).
Anna got me a new bag (shimmery brown).
Kim got me a Brewer's t-shirt.
Jenni got me two v-neck elbow length sleeve (red and white).
Beth and Jim got me a Snoopy sno cone maker.
It was a very fun time.
Friday was the Brewer's game. They won. Then Saturday we went to the lovely city of Kiel for the Zorn's 50th birthday party. I got a mosquito bite on my lip that was fun. Well I got about 10 other mosquito bites.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
What's your blog's reading level?
Well if you are reading my blog you are reading a blog at college reading level.
http://www.criticsrant.com/bb/reading_level.aspx
http://www.criticsrant.com/bb/reading_level.aspx
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Could be good or bad news...
After 4 years my complimentary Playboy subscription is ending.
Oh well I probably have 6 months worth of unopened mags at home.
ted.
Oh well I probably have 6 months worth of unopened mags at home.
ted.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Never wear or carry items with words
After running to catch the bus today, I sit down and a older bearded guy says to me...
I just wanted to let you know We are here.
I smile and nod. Damned Victoria's Secret tote.
Its time to fix my sunglassed faces bag.
ted.
I just wanted to let you know We are here.
I smile and nod. Damned Victoria's Secret tote.
Its time to fix my sunglassed faces bag.
ted.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Oh Bryan
What can I tell you about Bryan?
he's 22
he was in the marine corps for 4 years
the love of his life is John (he carries John's senior picture in his wallet)
he has a half black (cousin/niece) named Alyssa (other half Italian)
he's from Illinois
he's pissed @ the Catholic church
he's a close talker
I can be sure of these facts because he was very close to me while repeating this information over and over. Well until John came to get him leaving after harassing a couple of salad-eaters.
What I can tell you about me? I'm a easy target. Drunk people love me. There could be something said about how approachable I am. Granted I brought this on by bumping into his chair. I said sorry and then he started talking. I am going to go with the fact that I am a people person and I look friendly.
Update:
Bryan also works at the Pfister.
ted.
he's 22
he was in the marine corps for 4 years
the love of his life is John (he carries John's senior picture in his wallet)
he has a half black (cousin/niece) named Alyssa (other half Italian)
he's from Illinois
he's pissed @ the Catholic church
he's a close talker
I can be sure of these facts because he was very close to me while repeating this information over and over. Well until John came to get him leaving after harassing a couple of salad-eaters.
What I can tell you about me? I'm a easy target. Drunk people love me. There could be something said about how approachable I am. Granted I brought this on by bumping into his chair. I said sorry and then he started talking. I am going to go with the fact that I am a people person and I look friendly.
Update:
Bryan also works at the Pfister.
ted.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I have a problem
You know you have a problem when because John Mayer told you too you watched a girl pole dance in what I would assume is her living room.
http://tinyurl.com/6nszjq
Enjoy for yourself.
http://tinyurl.com/6nszjq
Enjoy for yourself.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Teen Witch Top That Lyrics
I'm king, and they know it
When i snap my fingers everybody says show it
I'm hot
and your not
But if you wanna hang with me I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that
You can give all that you can, but you will never top that!
You can dream until you're blue but you can never top that
huh huh
I'm hot
and your not
But if you wanna hang with me I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that
You can do all that you can but you'll never top that, top that
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
Such a waste of pretty face but hanging in your no one's face
I wish that you would take a look and really stop that
Top that, stop that
I don't really give a about tryin to top that
Top that, stop that
I wish you finally take a real look and really stop that
Whats this, stop that
What gives, stop that
I don't really give a about tryin to top that
top that, big deal
top that, unreal
you can try until youre blue
i will make a fool of you
TOP THAT
When i snap my fingers everybody says show it
I'm hot
and your not
But if you wanna hang with me I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that
You can give all that you can, but you will never top that!
You can dream until you're blue but you can never top that
huh huh
I'm hot
and your not
But if you wanna hang with me I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that
You can do all that you can but you'll never top that, top that
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
Such a waste of pretty face but hanging in your no one's face
I wish that you would take a look and really stop that
Top that, stop that
I don't really give a about tryin to top that
Top that, stop that
I wish you finally take a real look and really stop that
Whats this, stop that
What gives, stop that
I don't really give a about tryin to top that
top that, big deal
top that, unreal
you can try until youre blue
i will make a fool of you
TOP THAT
Monday, April 28, 2008
Heartburn
I have a raging case of heartburn. I will pay someone to bring me an antacid.
I guess I will have to go somewhere and buy some tums or something.
I guess I will have to go somewhere and buy some tums or something.
Friday, March 21, 2008
What do you think?
Do you think I am Legend is in my mailbox?
Ok, I know that you will never be able to answer this by the time I go and check but in case....
What do you think?
Ok, I know that you will never be able to answer this by the time I go and check but in case....
What do you think?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Welll since I am not going to stop
I went back to March 18, 2007 on the blog to see what I was complaining about. I thought if I posted anything that day I was saying something that may have annoyed me you know.
What was it: Word Order - I talk funnily some times and I don't like to correct people unless its egregiously horrible but this is that someone said on tv.
"I had prime rib roast with company for dinner..."
It still makes me thing of eating people. That was Sunday.
ted.
What was it: Word Order - I talk funnily some times and I don't like to correct people unless its egregiously horrible but this is that someone said on tv.
"I had prime rib roast with company for dinner..."
It still makes me thing of eating people. That was Sunday.
ted.
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