I handle outages very poorly.

So I have been writing things in notepad and word. I am a psycho.

I was reading a blog about hetero crushes and I decided to make a list of my own I will stick to somewhere around 5 or 10 (TV characters).

If you guys didn't know I was a West Wing and had many girl crushes from this show. I'll just choose one and I am sure I will regret it later.

Ainsley Hayes - Ok she was politically on the other side of the fence than I was but she definitely had qualities that I admired. She didn't take any crap and she stood up for her self. She also had a thing for muffins or something like that.

Nancy Botwin- Weeds - I don't agree with her choices in occupation but she was put ina situation. She did what she needed to do to provide for her family. I can relate to anybody who can get themselves in a out of trouble.

Varonica Mars - Well yeah she treated her boyfriend like crap but she has trust issues. I would like to play that charatcer for a few days. I love a good mystery.

I have more but I have to carefully think about this. I'll write more later. OH if you would like to share your crushes please do.

Well I am writing my blog today in notepad because the site has been down. I am watching (reading) this live chat feed from MacWorld. John Mayer is there and why isn't Beth there to secretly record this performance. I can't believe Apple is trying to convert me into Mac user via my obsession with John Mayer. I think Apple is taking is plot to take over the world too far.

Google is eating my blog right now and I am not happy about it.

Hey there,

After reading the following 23 questions in a book, I now believe they are excellent indicators of a person's character. Therefor please read and answer the following questions (and send them back to me) so that I can know if I can really love you and/or still be your friend.

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks - he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the either and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.
Would this person be more impressive tha n Albert Einstein?

No a person that can think and come up with brilliant things is much better than someone who just do things. How long do you think pulling a rabbit out of a hat will impress you.


2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that for some reason every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.
Would you attempt to do this?

I just can’t see myself kicking a horse to death. Sorry political prisoners.


3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle in the other , Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive fore two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.
Which option do you select?

I want the turtle. Although the stipend would be cool. I don’t think displaying the skull of a truly evil man is cool.


4. Genetic engineers and Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla." Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign la nguage lexicon of over twelve thousand words, and I.Q. of almost 85, and - most notably- a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.
You are commissioner of the NFL: would y ou allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

I am not crazy. Have you ever heard of animalistic instincts. Think about it whether this super gorilla would intentionally hurt someone does not matter. It is 700lbs. If it accidentally fell on someone they are dead.


5. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening; You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear - for the rest of your life - sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. when you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).
Would you swallow the pill?

I don’t know about this. The best part about music is it sounds different. I think I need to do some research on collarbones. Does my soul mate know? I am pretty sure I would tell him he had bad luck. I really don’t know that is tough.


6. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.
Would you still do this?

Easy. No, thank you. I have pretty bizarre dreams and if they get worse than the ones I remember my sub-conscience can keep them.


7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.
You are the front-page editor of the New York Times : what do you play as the biggest story?

This is also an easy one. Having the president that we have (although I wish that man no ill-will) I would put the cancer story up. This would definitely give the readers the hope that change might be in the future.

8. You meet he perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: you find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Da rk Crystal analogies to explain everyday event, and occasionally lik es to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy".
Would this be enough to stop you from ma rrying this individual?

Although this is probably grounds to be locked away in some sort of institution tell me how this is any different from being with someone obsessed with football, computers or anime.

9. A novel titled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curious social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who have read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these new found homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man).
Would this phenomenon increase (or decre ase) the likelihood of you reading this book?

I would read it. I am confident in my sexuality. Get real.

10. This is the open ing line of Jay Mcinerney's Bright Ligh ts, Big City: "You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of the morning." Think about that line in the context of the nove l (assuming you've read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart's Little Queen album (assu ming you own it). Listen to the opening riff to "Barracuda" .
Which of these two introductions is a hi gher form of art?

Never read the book I can’t give an opinion.

11. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that -somewhere- your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling: there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.
Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

I’d check my cell phone for missed calls in the theatre.

12. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizards says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves h is magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But somehow this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.
How much cash do you give the wizard?

Zero dollars. I like who I am.

13. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.
What do you talk about?

That’s just funny. The fact that everyone you ever slept with is invited and you know this and you still go is crazy. If I had to or didn’t know. I would talk about something horribly disgusting. Like having herpes or some STD. Hopefully I have some sort of security or a gun.

14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).
This being the case, do you think the av erage cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?
Cats would definitely enjoy this. IF cats were intelligent enough to read at a 12th grade level they would be able to only place the attributes of Garfield on other cats not themselves. Being able to do that makes things really funny.

15. You have a brain tumor. though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks.
How do you spend the next fourteen days?

Telling doctors to fuck off.

16. Someone builds an optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it's essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that for some unknown reason you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed.
The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a preseason CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

Yes because this is so funny to me, I might as well get started early.

17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you've never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft spoken acquaintance you barely know. After and hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask you acquaintance who the new man is. "Be careful of that guy," you are told. "He is a man with a past." A few moments later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. "Be careful of that guy, too." he says. "he is a man with no past".
Which of these two people do you trust less?

The man with no past. Everybody has something and if no one knows about it they are definitely hiding something you don’t want to be involved in.

18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.
Which option do you select?

Europe. What am I am going to do on the moon and who am I going to do it with. Visiting places is all about the experiences you can take back home with you.

19. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don't kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why.
Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable ) attack?

My friends know that I am clumsy. I would tell them I tripped. Why get to elaborate.


20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from you actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as "brutally honest and relentlessly fair." Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produce d a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.
Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The documentary. My life has all types of stuff that you don’t have to fictionalize to make it entertaining.

21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you've learned from having lived your life previously.
Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

Virginity is a funny thing. Well lets see. I don’t know. I’m fine where it is now.

22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating in the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don't believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.
Which of these two rumors is most troubl ing to you?

The one that I have a problem gambling. I don’t want people thinking that I am broke because I am gambling it away. The better story would be that I am stupidly sleeping with a guy that will never leave his wife and… wow my imagination kicked in there. More troubling gambling. Plus if I am slept with this guy. Shit happens. Although that would never happen because I want to get married and if I found out my husband got drunk and slept with someone. There’s going to be bodies.

23. Consider this possibility:
a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.
b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.
c. Now, imagine that this person, the unfamous John Ritter, is a character in a situation comedy.
d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.
e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life. In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about your life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life.
How would you feel about this?

I feel like this is crazy. I saw that movie with Jim Carey and I am not stable enough for stuff like that people would get hurt.